Caged Girl
by Ifsomethingchanged
Summary: I was drowning in the sea of screams. Flailing about in the river of blood. In the ocean of tears the waves beat me down. The wailing of the winds was deafening. But somehow I survived. Just barely. I found out why the Caged bird sings. (Please read. Constructive criticism is encouraged. Let me know what you think please, I love reviews!) Levi X Oc Eren x Oc
1. Hellish Home

Hellish Home

Screaming. Wailing. Tears. The scent of blood came up from the river that ran red with it. The terrible desperate cries of someone who knows they're about to die. The taste of death in the air. The singed debris on the wind. Our first sign was that the birds went silent. The live stock were uneasy. And then I saw it.

A horrible, heinous, ungodly, unholy, abomination. They came from nowhere. Our small not-quite-village was easily overrun. But they didn't kill me. No, I sang and they all listened. So as long as I sang for them, they wouldn't eat me. At the time, it seemed better than being Titan food. But that was then. This is now.

* * *

My name is long lost. Nobody uses it. The Titans have only learned how to demand that I sing. Not a name for me, besides, 'stupid bird', 'queen's favorite', 'little birdie' and a few more. The only other words they speak are, 'no', and 'sing'. If I don't sing when they want, they just hit me. Hard. All over. Everywhere. At this point, I resemble a human blueberry. I'm covered in black and blue, purple, green, and a sickly yellow coloured bruises.

And so I spend most my time rocking back and forth on the wooden swing in the human sized song bird cage. The incoherent babblings of the Titans I had learned to block out. And then I hear them move closer. A small ones hands shake the cage, gripping the metal bars, sending tremors all throughout the cage. The cage I've come to call home.

"Sing!" It demands in an almost unrecognizable earsplitting scream. Although the vaguely human quality of it, scared me.

I open my mouth as the words fall from my lips. I hear human footsteps in the surrounding trees. They were as good as dead. I guess it's fitting that I'm singing a funeral song. I'm wearing what passed as funeral attire now, it was blacked by dirt. I'm painfully thin, with too wide green eyes, and freakishly pale skin. My hair is too dirtied to tell the color, but it used to be dark brown.

I watch the vaguely humanoid creatures as I sing. They look less terrifying while I sing. The gleaming teeth not so lethal, their foaming mouths not so ready to devour. An almost human peace in their hunger ridden eyes.

"My whole word is the pain inside me

It's all I can do to get through the day

My life before is only a memory

I wonder why God let me walk through this place?" My voice reaches a crescendo.

The footsteps pound overhead. The clanking of metal grows louder. I glance up as I sing. The green canopy filtering sunlight, giving the illusion of beauty and safety in what has become my own personal hell. And it was just that, an illusion. A fleeting one at that. I had learned the hard way many times over that there is no safety outside your own strength. It's a lesson I'm never going to forget. One that was learned much too late for it to be of use to my family. The past was the past, and if I was going to stay alive I needed to keep it there. Even as all these thoughts raced through my head, I sang on not daring to stop before the song is over.

"After all this has passed

I still will remain after I've cried my last

There'll be beauty from pain

No it won't be today

Someday I'll hope again

And there'll be beauty from pain," my lips drift close as the song ends.

The Titans seem oblivious to the incoming soliders, I intend to keep it that way. What better way then make them focus on me? Or better yet, if I can put them to sleep, it seems dark enough now... my lips reopen to sing, as the Titans begin shrieking. I sing slowly whispering words of long lost lullabies. Most of Titans had lain down to sleep.

"Hush now my darling

Close your eyes and sleep

Waltzing the waves

Diving the deep

Stars are shinning bright

The wind is on the rise

Whispering words of sweet lullabies," I finish as they all fall unconscious.

The footsteps halt, a man comes around to the front of the cage. I back up further into the cage seeing the deadly look in his eyes. I knew that man. Corporal Levi of the Scout Regimen. Stormy, steely eyes, pale skin, and shorter then most, but definitely taller then me. His hair is a raven black, his demeanor so detail oriented it comes acrossed as bored and uninterested.

He opens the cage slowly. Painstakingly so. He walks in, hands drawn even with his shoulders, palm up in surrender. As he gets closer I move back. I keep the exact same distance from him, while maintaining watch on all the others outside. I stare him down the entire time, never once breaking eye contact as that's a sign of submission.

He suddenly closes the distance between us, and before I can think I land a solid kick to his jaw and run before he recovers. I move too fast for the guards outside to catch me as I scale one of the trees and make to disappear. I hear the rushing wind and dive out of the way as the red headed girl makes a grab at me. I hear the others closing in. I drop my eyes to the tree bark. I hear the same light footsteps as Corporal Levi walks up to me.

"We're not gonna hurt you. We want to get you out of here," The same red headed girl says.

That's what the last ones said. And they tried to cut my fucking heart out. My eyes flicker to movement on the ground. The Titan had seen us. I'm as good as dead. I grab Lance Corporal Levi by the wrist and the red heads wrist in my other hand. I sprint across tree tops using my small energy reserves to get us out of there before the Titan had time to get its friends. The other follow behind just barely keeping up. I leap and spin, jump, run, and twirl in my haste to get out of there. We near the edge of the woods seeing a group of horses waiting at the forests edge. I leap from branch to branch, hearing the human footsteps pounding behind me as I practically drag The redhead and Corporal Levi along.

I land lightly on the ground, as for the others well... not so much, as tired as I am from all of that, they look like they're about to die. I don't blame them. The rough bark in hard to run on. It's all to easy to slip, and being dragged off by a rag muffin probably doesn't help the situation.

My breathing comes in harsh ragged pants as I double over listening carefully for sounds of pursuit. As I listen I hear a shrieking noise unlike anything I've heard before. I look around trying to pinpoint it. My eyes itch. All of the sudden I hear a crashing noise and the world goes dark.

* * *

 **Authors Notes-** _Hey guys. This idea has been floating around in my head for awhile and while I was writing, I decided that I'd post this to see if you all liked it. If you see spelling or grammatical errors tell me please. If you all like it enough I'll continue. Please read and review. Until next time,_

 _\- Yours truly,_

 _\- if something changed_

 _P.S. - the first song was, beauty from pain by nightcore. The second "song of the sea" with slightly modified lyrics._


	2. Bound in chains

2- Bound in chains

I awake to a dripping noise. A splatter of water lands on the tip of my nose. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Again and again it goes on. It seems now even the earth cries for what has become of its inhabitants. And as the earth weeps, the wind wails, and the ocean is salted with tears, because the rivers run red with our blood.

"We chase misprinted lies

We face the path of time

And yet I fight

And yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home

My gift of self is raped

My privacy is raked

And yet I find

And yet I find

Repeating in my head

If I can't be my own

I'd be better off dead."

The words play on repeat in my head. Ever since I awoke here, my hands shackled, my feet tied. But, I knew going in they couldn't be all that different from the others. So why do I have to hope? God, knows I have already given up, so why the hell do I have to hope? Why do I have to be so human?

It's not fair that everyone can detach themselves from emotions so easily. Yet even after living in hell I'm just as human. Just as easily manipulated, just as weak. You would think something would have changed, right? But, nope. I'm the same old me. The one who decided it'd be fun to sing a funeral song before I died. The one who decided that a mere existence would be better than a swift relatively painless death.

Who would have thought that because I can sing the Titans didn't want to eat me? I mean, the only thing I can ever do right is sing. They could've kept any of the talented people from back home and yet they kept me. Why? Why did they pick me? Then again we never know why the Titans do anything.

The same light footsteps I heard in the fleeting illusion the trees provide, are coming closer. Lance Corporal Levi walks up infront of the new bars that cage me in. In his steely eyes I can see he wants to say something. Call it whatever you want, women's intuition, a gut feeling, whatever, but I know he's going to tell me why I'm here.

"Oi. Brat, what's your name?" He barks out in a disinterested bored sounding voice.

I meet his eyes and just shrug. I watch the annoyance flicker through his stormy grey eyes before they become stoic once more. But, why does my name even matter? I don't remember it, so it's not like I can tell him. Even if I want to talk to him. Which I really do not want to speak to the man who threw me into another prison. I mean, afterall he is probably the reason I'm lying in a puddle of disgustingly dirty sludge, or maybe its water, with my hands and feet tied.

I mean even the Titans had more class than this. Maybe.. I mean they haven't started beating me yet...

"A shrug isn't an answer. What's your name?" He demands with a hint of malice lacing his once uninterested tone.

I shrug again deliberately with the purpose to annoy him. My dead green eyes bore into his glaring grey ones. I look on without the urge to look away. I don't want to see the flickering flames on the torches, or the cold grey stone of the walls, or the rusted bars and chains. I really don't want to see the creatures running around the packed dirt floor either.

"Look here you brat. If you want to make it out of here, you need to cooperate," He hisses at me breaking eye contact, "So I'll ask one more time. What. Is. Your. Name?"

I just stare at him blankly. I can't tell him something I don't know. My eyes flicker toward where I hear the clacking of heavy boots against stone. From the sound of the footsteps it seems pretty safe to assume that whoever is coming towards us is male. And unless I'm horribly out of touch with the inner workings of the world inside the walls, whoever was coming toward us out ranked the Corporal.

As the man comes into view I take in his appearance. Blonde hair close cropped on the sides, not so much on the top, but well groomed. Blue clobat eyes with flecks of a light shimmery gold, with an almost almond shape. Extremely tall, with broad set shoulders. He's very well muscled. With my current state, I harbour no illusion that I could beat both in a fight. Maybe I could beat one, but it doesn't matter anyway because they're both here.

"Levi, we have no idea what she's seen. At this point she might not even remember her name," The blonde man reasons.

His voice sounds warm, almost safe. I find myself nodding slightly an emotion I don't recognize constricting my already battered heart. My emerald orbs however have yet to shake the lingering dead look. Surprise flickers through the man's eyes as Corporal Levi looks at me in utter irritation.

"So you'll talk to him, but not me? Even after I let you out of that god damned cage?" The Lance Corporal nearly spits at me the malice in his tone no longer concealed.

I don't move. I don't dare to do so much as blink. Movement attracts attention. The single bead of water that landed on my nose, has now dried and feels so much colder. All my survival instincts are screaming at me to run or to break down and weep like the Earth, to add my tears to the Ocean, and to wail like the wind. Because, soon it seems like the rivers will be running with my blood. I don't move. I don't think about anything. Anything at all.

My lips part and words fall through them without a filter, "He isn't the one who assumed I had an answer Corporal."

My tone is flat. Dead and lifeless, yet cold, harsh, and biting simultaneously. And no matter how stupid I know those words are, I can't bring myself to retract them or to apologize for them. My green pools stare at the shorter man daring him to object. His stormy blueish grey eyes watch me with an intensity I've never seen before.

"Erwin, remind me again why we aren't just killing her?" The raven haired man asks.

"Levi," The blonde man he called Erwin, had a voice full of warning, "If everything you said is true then she could potentially put to sleep any Titans within hearing range and we could step in and kill them. She could save humanity."

I feel the urge to laugh. There isn't any humanity left to save. As ridiculously human as I am, I'm not good enough to be worth the effort and loss of life. And the lot of humanity are murders and theives or, greedy and selfish, or cultists or just all around horrible people.

Besides, he's acting like the rivers aren't going to run red with blood. Like the Earth won't weep, the Ocean won't be salted by tears, like the wind won't wail to morn the loss of all those who will fall. He has no idea the pain that will befall what's left of humanity. No idea that when he dies, his voice will be drowning in a sea of screams.

* * *

 **Authors Notes-** _Hey, I hope you have all been enjoying this so far. I was wondering if you would all like longer chapters or more frequent updates? I have finals coming up soon so I'm writing odd hours. Please review! I need feedback from you all! I love hearing what you have to say. Please tell me what you'd like in the reviews, longer chapters or more frequent updates. Until next time,_

 _Lots of love_

 _\- If Something Changed_

 _P.S. - the poem sounding thing in the beginning, is actually a song called, "nutshell"_


	3. Broken Wings

**Authors Notes-** _I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update. I just finished up most of my final exams so I should be updating a lot more frequently. This is definitely a filler chapter until I can get to the good stuff, but some of the things said will be really important later on. I'm so sorry if this is just really bad. I'm trying to keep writing with my writers block and it took me awhile before I got this. Please enjoy! Lots of love, If Something Changed_

 _P.S. - there is a reference to the Razor land saga in here. I highly recommend reading the book series._

* * *

Broken wings

I watch in silence as Erwin and the Corporal converse. The dripping tears of the Earth have slowed, but the wind wails just as loud as ever. The distant slamming of a door is all that alerts me to the incoming soldiers.

A boy turns up along with a rather crazed looking woman. Mussed brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, goggles hanging down around her neck. Her uniform the same as the Corporals but less pristine, and lacking the cravat. Her honeyed brown eyes scream of insanity, although it seems just to be to block out the grief that lingers there.

The boys eyes however... they're not quite worldly. His eyes have a fiery determination that wails louder than the already deafening wind. His eyes speak of experience beyond his years and of grief, pain, sadness, and doubt. But an unshakable resolve to survive and do good is there in those watery ocean blue depths. Those depths hold so much heartbreak it hurts to look at but, I can't look away.

I blink. Once. Twice. And a third time. Shaking my head slightly as if to clear it, I turn my eyes back to the Corporal and Erwin, away from the brown-haired boy.

"If you don't mind my asking, but why do you think the Titans kept you in that cage?" Erwin asks suddenly.

I meet his shimmery orbs and shrug. If I could answer that question I could rule the world. The world like razors. That cut you no matter what you do. All I've got are a bunch of half-baked theories, and unanswered questions. So why bother asking me? It's not like my guess is a better one than theirs. It's a guess. And probably a pretty shitty one at that. I mean really what is he expecting? Me to have all the answers? Because nobody has all the answers.

"Oi, shitty glasses, brat, what did you want?" The Corporal barks at the brunettes.

"A cadet came and told us Commander Erwin had called," The woman replies seemingly unfazed by the Corporals brisk manner.

All eyes turn to the Commander, with an almost audible questioning.

"I thought Zoe, and Eren might be better at getting her to talk. Levi isn't exactly approachable. And I don't have enough time for a thorough interrogation," He explains sounding more and more reasonable by the second.

"So does she have a name?" The celeste eyed boy questions smiling at me, "Mine is Eren."

I stare at him blankly. My emerald orbs just as dull and frozen as ever before. My lips part in a small nearly inaudible yawn. The bags under my eyes feel more apparent to me, and so much heavier. A constant reminder of the fact I can't sleep at night. As ridiculously kind his voice is, I can't bring myself to answer him. I don't really care enough to tell him something he can deduce himself.

"So far all we've gathered is, she doesn't remember her own name and can speak just fine. She just doesn't talk typically," The Commander responds seemingly oblivious to Eren's obvious attempt to get me to answer.

The women whom I'm assuming is Zoe has been staring at me the entire time. Not in a watchful way, but rather the way one would eye a piece of food that looked good to eat. I can feel my skin crawling under her scrutiny As the Commander and Corporal turn to leave I nearly call out not wanting to be left with the woman. But realize just in time that Eren will be here too. I won't be left alone with this maniacal looking woman, thankfully.

"Can I have the keys?" Eren inquires without turning around.

"What for?" Erwin asks unceremoniously.

"So I can go sit inside the cell with her at least," He responds without any pauses as if he had expected that exact question all along.

The keys fly through the air, making a jangling sound as they go. Reminding me of the bell that sat above the door to the bakery in town. I used to work there, getting up early in the morning to bake everything fresh and frost all the cakes to perfection. And the constant jangling of the bell that signified another customer coming or going.

My jade coloured pools snap to where Eren is entering the cell. I search him carefully for any concealed weapon, my eyes subtly flickering from one place to another. After I'm certain he's clean, I meet his turquoise eyes, my viridescent hues just as muted and numb as ever. The distance in them might even be further than ever before. I gaze at him, waiting for someone to say something.

"If I tell you something, you can't freak out, okay?" Eren states questioningly, his cerulean greenish orbs looking at me expectantly.

I don't even blink. I don't give him any indication that I agree not to freak out. I just watch him. Waiting for him to continue. Waiting for him to tell me they plan to keep me here, in this cage forever. Or that they are going to execute me. Or that the Earth was crying because I'm dying. Or maybe that.. no. I refuse to think about that. Nobody can be that cruel. Nobody. I don't care what anyone says. Nobody can ever be that cruel.

Eren realizing he won't get a response from me starts talking again, "I can turn into a titan."

Panic flickers through my too numb green eyes for a split second before realizing, that humanity wouldn't have left him alive unless he wasn't a threat to them. Or at the very least taken some precautions to ensure that he didn't turn on them. After forcing my breathing patterns back to normal in the split second this goes through my head, I shake my head slightly.

"And?" I inquire my voice still devoid of emotions.

If I'm honest, that's probably the least freaky thing that I have heard to date. I've seen Titans level entire towns, and devour all of the living inhabitants. And then killed the Titans. I can handle myself in a fight. I'm not going to be afraid unless he gives me reason for fear.

"You aren't freaked out?" The brunette woman called Zoe interjects sounding almost awed, "Most people would have run away screaming or at least told him to fuck off or get away. And yet you show no signs of fear.. maybe she's a Titan shifter?"

I tune out. More hypothetical mumblings fall from her lips. But, none of it makes any sense to me. None of it matters to me. Nothing she can possibly theorise will change anything. The fact of the matter is, eventually the rivers will run red with our blood. The Ocean will be salted with tears, the Wind will wail to morn us. And then the Earth will weep for the loss of life. It's inevitable.

Titans or no Titans. It was never a matter of, if death should befall me but, when it comes and how it happens. Some just meet a pointless end. That is what took all the good out of goodbye. And put the hell into hello.


	4. Walls inside his eyes

Walls inside his eyes

The brunette lady had sat here for hours muttering. And my lime colored pools blank, hollow, and empty have continued my staring contest with the torch. So far I think I'm winning. Eren is snoozing soundly. His back propped up against the filthy stone wall.

I envy the peaceful look on his face. I haven't slept like that in years. My sleep always restless and riddled with horrid memories and even worse fears. My thoughts are interrupted by the horrible, terrible hunger pangs that suddenly assault my empty stomach.

I jerk my hands to lay flat across my stomach, pulling the chains straight out of the grey stone walls in my feeble, idiotic attempt to stop the pain. The sound pulls Eren out of his slumber. I nearly scream, yet my face is just as blank, hollow, lifeless as ever. My mossy hues dull, muted, dead. The urge to cry is strengthened by the darkness that flashes before reality.

* * *

The high pitched keening groan of tearing metal. Screams of alarm, utter panic, mortal terror. Excitement. The clattering of rock and stones. That is all the information I need before I take off flying down the corridors, back to where Erwin and I left the damn brat. I found her in a cage in Titan territory. The forest of big-ass trees, to be more specific.

 _While my squad and I had been expecting weird, never had anyone even dreamt that we'd run into Titans keeping a human song bird. They screamed at her to sing. As soon as we heard the Titan speak we had all run in that direction without a single solitaire shit given. Surprisingly enough, a voice was heard singing a song I thought was lost a long, long time ago. And before we knew it, we could see it. A rusting, silvery metal cage with a bag of skin and bones inside, that resembled a girl. Then, the Titans seemed to sleep. Fall asleep instantaneously. Because she sang. And then we knew we had to get her back inside the walls. So after the rag muffin fucking dragged us away from certain death, and passed out, we rode off to find eyebrows._

But, none of that prepared me to see what was going on in the cell. The chains had been yanked clean out of the walls. And Hanji is just sitting here screaming about how many pointless, fucking experiments she is going to perform on her. Titan brat at least looks mildly alarmed. For fucks sake, how the hell does she even have that kind of strength in her malnourished half dead state?

"Hanji. Go get Erwin. Make sure eyebrows knows it's serious shitty glasses," I order, quickly advancing towards the small, rather pitiful looking, green eyed girl.

Her typically lifeless face contorts in pain. Real pain. Not the kind of pain ordinary people would ever, even come close to experiencing but, hunger pangs. The ones that come right before death and starvation. Enough to bring any normal person to tears. Even the strongest of people to tears. And yet, although her face shows pain, it's as if the pain is a minor annoyance rather, than absolutely; unbearable, insufferable, overpowering, intolerable.

It's almost amusing, watching her left eyebrow twitch as if she is going to scream at her pain and tell it to go fuck itself. In fact she seems almost immune to the pain like, it's nothing out of the norm. Like she has endured this pain many many times over. This pain and so much more. The look on her face although to most is nearly unreadable, makes it known this isn't anything new to her.

"Brat, make yourself useful and go find some semblance of food," I order curtly, deducing a sound solution rather quickly.

"Yes, Corporal," The brat salutes and scampers off to find the source of nutrition we call 'food'.

In all actuality it's sludge - at least it is here- but, I get the feeling the starving girl with the gorgeous viridescent pools won't mind. _Wait did I just...? Yo_ u _don't have fucking time for this Levi. Besides, that'd make you a... focus Levi. Damn it all. I'm getting all fucking soft on myself_.

"Hey. Brat. If you aren't dead blink once," I command striding with purpose into the cell, through the hastily flung open, severely rusted door.

I eye the door in disdain. It's disgusting, foul, nasty, repulsive and absolutely vile. I catch a glimpse of one steady, solitary blink from the filthy girl. For a fraction of a moment I'm annoyed that she hasn't bothered listening to me till now. _But, why do I even care?_ I silently berate myself. _Why the fuck should I care?_ I carefully watch the gaunt looking girl.

I let a trace of amusement slip onto my typically indifferent features as her eyebrow twitches grow more frequent and increasingly violent.

"Of all the wonders I have yet heard, I find it strange that man should fear. Seeing as that Death. A necessary end will come when it will come," I hear the words fall from her parted lips.

For a moment I let myself believe I had imagined the words. _But, Maria knows that would be all too convenient. Why do I know those words? Why do I recognize them. My train of thought trails off as I see her unwavering strength. Where most would be totally helpless she doesn't even seem vulnerable._

 _I wonder, how hard exactly I'm going to have to push, before she finally breaks? How far can I push her? What is she willing to give up? She doesn't even know her own name. How much can I influence her? Will she let me hold any sway, at all? Or anyone else for that matter? What's going on in that pretty little head of hers? Did she tell Shitty glasses and Eren anything? Anything important? Anything at all really?_

 _Why doesn't she trust me? I mean, I know I'm not approachable but, still. Fighting typically builds trust and bonds at a rapid rate. Nearly without fail. What in fucking hells' name has she been through that taught her to trust no one? And taught her that so thoroughly too?_

Erwin bursts into the grime coated cell at that very moment. Aggravatingly. Or maybe helpfully. _Holy fuck. What's happening to me?_ I scream silently in my head.

 _Ever since the stupid brat showed up I can't stop thinking about her. Maybe it's got to do with her singing. Maybe she's one of those Sirens from the old stories._

"What happened?" Erwin demands not wasting any more time.

"It's pretty clear that the Titans didn't feed her shit, that is if her ribs are anything to go off of. My bet is that she's starving," I answer monotonously, annoyed he couldn't deduce that himself.

"Did you send someone to get food, already?" Erwins questions having calmed down.

 _Nope. I just stood here the entire time gawking like an idoit and being completely useless_ , I think silently to myself.

"Yes. Eren should be back anytime now," Is what comes out of my mouth despite my thoughts.

And speak of the devil. The little Titan brat bursts into the room carrying a bowl filled with, vaguely vegetable flavored lukewarm water and a glass of water. At least, that's what I hope is in the bowl. As I watch her dazed, emerald orbs I realize nobody has made a move to give her the 'food'. Stalking over to Jeagar, I take the bowl from him along with the small glass. Crossing the short distance to the tiny starving girl in a stride I hand her the bowl. Her eyes bore into me, no longer blank, but sharp, and unforgiving.

"What'd you do?" Slips from her lips, in the same lifeless, almost mechanical, but beautiful, soft voice.

I gaze at her blankly, not understanding what she means. It clicks. And my typically impassive face shows respect at that kind of restraint, and dissatisfaction at her lack of trust. All I can think is, _what_ _happened to teach her the lesson most people never learn in their life time? The lesson of the child in the wheat._

* * *

 ** _Authors Notes-_** _As you may have heard from Scarlett, I was recently hospitalized due to a car accident, but I'm fine now so don't worry! As I have discovered during my recovering hospitals are very very boring so I'm going to be updating alot more. Hopefully. Anyways, I recently just hit a little over 700 hundred regular readers. Which I'm very happy about. And you guys are from all over the world. Australia, Croatia, Belgium, France, Germany, the Philippines, Finland, Sweden, the UK. Everywhere. I think it's great that you all like my story so much. Thanks if you read all that. Please read and review._

 _Lots of Love_

 _-If Something Changed_

 _P.S. - there is a shakespeare reference in here. And there is also one to, "The last star" let me know in the reviews if you've found any of my references so far._


	5. After

5- After

Floating. That's what it feels like. Not falling, flailing, or even struggling. I just am.

Another one in the crowd. Another grain of sand. Another star in the sky. Another snowflake in the snow bank. Another leaf in the tree. I'm no one. I am nothing. I am everyone. I'm everything. I'm not dead. I'm not alive. Just floating. Everyone is special. No one is different. No one is important yet everyone matters. This is the impossible, inconceivable paradox of the grey-space.

The space in which you wake up. That split second where you forget every single problem, worry, and care in the world. The moment where you don't even know who you are, where your only purpose is to simply exist. Apparently though, it also happens when you're trying to block out immense amounts of pain.

My body had grown accustomed to hunger. But, nobody ever really gets used to the burning, emptiness in the pit of your aching body. Nearly everyone knows hunger. Nearly nobody knows starvation.

The faint voice of the Corporal reaches my ears, over the roaring of the ocean of darkness upon which I float, "Hey. Brat. If you aren't dead blink once."

I'm not dead. So, I blink once. Or at least, that's what I tell my body to do. Whether or not it actually worked is a different story.

A prodding feeling hits my hands. A slight warmth encompasses them. The light, slightly salty smell of watery trail soup hits my nose. Light flashes in front of my viridescent orbs. Blobs appear in my vision, flickering slightly before becoming more solid. As the blobs gain color, they begin to resemble people. I glance down at the warm, shallow bowl in my hands.

Looking up with a tiny spark of betrayal and offense in my eyes, the question escapes the confines of my paranoid, insanity riddled mind, "What'd you do?"

The Corporal gazes at me with confusion written in his eyes. Understanding then lights his features. Admiration, dissatisfaction. Good grief. The man is confusing me. How can he respect me and yet still be angered by my actions?

"I don't expect you to believe me, but nobody did anything to it," He answers with a newfound softness in his still emotionless voice.

The blades in his sharp steely eyes, have dulled just a bit. But, fuck it. The Earth will cry anyways. Winds will wail, oceans will become tears. And the rivers? They'll run red. Might as well get it out of the way. And if I live? That's great. If I die? Even better. I lift the bowl to my lips. Taking small sips of the lukewarm liquid, ignoring the clattering of the chains that remain around my wrists.

How did I even pull these out of th- "How did you even manage to pull those out of the wall?" Corporal Levi asks, seemingly reading my mind.

I just shrug. I ignore the fact he looks ready to kill me. Having people ready to murder you gets old. Really old after the first few attempts. Or whatever you want to call them. But, regardless it's very tiring. Being chased is physically exhausting, chasing someone is mentally exhausting.

"I thought we were past all that stupid fucking shrugging," The raven haired man hisses at me, seemingly growing more angry by the second. The man's hand hits his forehead with an audible thump, as he drags it down the length of his pale face. "If I didn't have orders to not kill you, you'd be dead."

The broad blonde man, who I'd come to know as Erwin, says in a warning tone, "Not funny. Even if you aren't joking," He crouches down to eye level with me. His blue eyes are soft with what looks like, love, almost. Compassion more likely. "What do you want us to call you? I'm guessing you don't remember your name, so you might as well pick a new one."

His eyes seem so familiar. The world fades away and his face is replaced with a different one. Brown hair, hooked nose, deeper blue eyes, sparse upper lip, full lower one. A more serious demeanor. I suddenly jerk back into reality not even realizing I had spoken until I heard the words ringing in my ears.

"Rikka. My name is Rikka," I had said.

Was my name Rikka once? Am I still Rikka? I guess, that Rikka will be different this time around. Good different? Bad different? I have not the slightest clue. But, I intend on finding out. And real soon too.

"Well okay then Rikka. How about we get through the upcoming trial, and then we can talk about a future in the Survey Corps?" The kindness in his eyes frightens me. That's the kind of thing that gets people killed quickly.

And not by Titans.

* * *

The kind eyed Commander had continued his blathering right up until the Military police came to take me on trial. I was to be a silly empty headed little girl who wants nothing more than to find a warm bed, and food to eat. I can do this. I'm a survivor. And if survival means acting like I'm actually alive, then so be it.

In the, what I guessed to be about an hour long carriage ride, I had worked up a convincing act. Now all that matters is delivering it. And I'm going to deliver. I always deliver. I look young, and I'm clearly starving all I need to do is play up the tears a bit. Make them want to help me.

As the men escort me surprisingly gently and carefully into the courtroom, I've almost convinced myself that I am the silly empty headed little girl I am to play the part of. Tears stream from my frightened green eyes that dart up from the floor every once in awhile, as if, to make sure the people surrounding me haven't moved in to kill me yet.

The men didn't even bother with handcuffing me. They simply stood guard next to my completely unbound self, which they had lead carefully to the center of the room and sat gently on the floor. Most of the relatively small audience watched with a clear discomfort, not entirely convinced I wasn't a threat. My small fragile body was wracked with silent sobs, my emerald pools casting down at the floor without fail.

The man who the Commander told me is Darius Zackly let his voice ring out, "I thought that today's trial was for a suspected Titan Shifter, not a dying girl."

"This is the suspected Titan Shifter," A greasy, ratty looking man calls out.

"The girl is scared out of her mind, and your soldiers didn't even find it necessary to put her in restraints. But, as it is _my_ duty, we will continue to examine the facts," Darius announces. He turns his gaze back to the rat man, "You may present your case, Nile."

"Anyone who the Titans don't eat on sight is either, in cahoots with them, or a non human. Not to mention the reports say she sang to the Titans. Who the fuck sings to a Titan when they could be running for their lives?" The greasy man, Darius had called Nile implores.

The tears stream down more quickly. A small sob escapes my lips. My lips tremor as Darius looks at me intently.

"Why don't we have her tell us what happened and see if it lines up with the reports?" He glances around as if actually requesting approval, "Alright then, go ahead. Enlighten us."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on. I don't know where I am or who any of you are," my voice breaks on the last syllable sounding incredibly realistic, "I don't know what a Titan Shifter is. All I know is that Corporal Levi saved me from the Titans. And the Titans kept me locked in a cage and beat me if I didn't sing when they wanted me to. I'm sorry I don't know anything else I can tell you. I just want to go home."

I look up from the floor, my lime colored hues tearful and afraid. I can feel the pity in the air, radiating from everywhere, even the few Scouts that reside in the audience. I'm a manipulative bitch. But, I'm okay with that. So long as it keeps me alive.

* * *

As it turns out, the military can't handle crying girls. And men are easy to manipulate.

* * *

 **Authors Notes-** _I'm so sorry for the slow updates I definitely have not forgotten about this story, just working out some kinks and what not. So please read and review. I hope you've enjoyed._

 _Lots of love-_

 _-If Something Changed_


	6. Pretty eyes ugly lies

Pretty eyes ugly lies

The brat could act. I'd give her that. She had everyone going. Everyone. She'd brought grown men to tears. If she's not one of those Sirens then I don't know what the fuck she is. Well, aside from apparently a really good liar. 'Unless she wasn't lying', a nagging voice in the back on my head taunts. But that's just nonsense. She was an empty zombie before. Didn't say shit. That was acting. She's empty.

Eyes don't lie. They never lie. And besides the moment we were all in the carriage, every last one of the tears dried instantly. No red, puffy eyes. Not a single sign that the tears had ever been there. And so now we get to sit in the overly warm carriage, with a fucking zombie. 'Unless this is the act', the same pestering voice intones. Damn. No matter what I do I can't seem to shut that voice up. I'm Levi Ackerman. Not some paranoid, love struck fool.

The carriage pulls to an uncoordinated stop. Erwin and I exit through the annoyingly small door. Turning around I see the green eyed zombie in the corner of the carriage staring into a different time. Erwins' typically hardened eyes soften looking at the seemingly lost girl.

For fucks sake. What do they all see in her? 'The same thing you do', the stupid fucking whiny voice nags in the back of my mind. If it doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to bust my skull open and rip it out. Her eyes snap to the door and she moves without a single sound making it to the door silently. She follows us silently as we make our way to Erwins office.

He holds the door open as we both step inside. Her eyes scan the room cataloging everything, subtly. I know from experience that she is taking note of every exit, weapons and makeshift weapons, checking for any potential threats. I still do it every time I entire a room. Habits like that never really go away. But, what the fuck gave her that habit? Most military trainees don't pick that habit up until they've spent years in the field.

What goes on in her head? What the fuck did she see to hollow her like this? Holy shit. Why do I care? 'Because she's just like you; hollow, empty, alone.'

I shake my head as if to dislodge myself from that train of thought.

Erwin breaks the silence, "You haven't given us a single reason to distrust you, but after your display in the courtroom, it was decided that you'll be given free reign of Headquarters, but we'll be keeping an eye on you. Sound fair enough?"

She just nods, "What do you want from me?"

For a moment I'm taken aback she managed to see through him so quickly, seeing as most still haven't figured out what she has. Nobody is kind without a reason. And that reason is usually, they're going to use you.

"Perceptive little thing aren't you?" Erwin asks before sighing, "If I'm being honest. We need your gifts. You have the power to save so many lives if you can distract the Titans like I've been told you can. You could stop them in their tracks while we go in and kill them. Rikka, you might just be humanity's saving grace."

Her typically blank eyes, flash with something unreadable. The question is what? She just nods. Her viridescent orbs blank once more.

"Okay, Erwin. Before we do anything else we need to decide when she starts training with the cadets. Or rather if she starts training with the cadets. Then we can get her cleaned up, and fed an whatnot," I say quickly.

"Fair enough. Personally I say we give her a week to recover and get into things then she can start training with the cadets," Erwin responds.

The little zombie interjects, "I already have more skill then most of your cadets."

"Ah. That's true Erwin. I hadn't even thought about it but she did save all our asses from those titans. She can run through trees faster then we can get through even with the gear," I say thinking aloud.

"Okay. Then we can do a trial run with the veteran soliders. If that doesn't work out, then she starts with the cadets," His voice holds an air of finality, "Levi go take her to get her cleaned up. Then take her down to the mess. As far as everyone else is concerned she's a transfer from another branch."

"Yes sir," I walk out knowing the girl will follow.

But the question is why. Why the hell did she even... Never mind. I don't need to know. That's none of my fucking business.

I stop in front of a door, "Here the insane bitch lives there she'll get you whatever. I'll wait here."

I open the door and shove her inside.

And at this point, what is she surviving for?

'The same thing you are', that stupid fucking idiotic, yet perfectly logical voice says, 'tomorrow'.

The screaming Four eyes doesn't disappoint as within what seems like seconds the zombie girl is standing in front of me looking like a completely different person. Her once greasy, filthy self was spotless, unless bruises counted, outfitted in a uniform with all her locks braided tightly into the side plait she was sporting. I don't look. I do not look. Just like I wasn't thinking about her. I turn sharply and take her to the mess. And the moment she walks in, all hell breaks loose.

I can' t find the line break button so here we go.

Erens POV

I've absolutely had it with Jean. He starts shit he's never willing to finish. But, none of that seems to matter as the gorgeous green eyed girl walks through the door along with The Corporal. Her chocolatey brown locks braided tightly with a few curl framing her face look freshly clean and her uniform is clearly new. All eyes turn to watch her too small frame collect a tray and sit down silently.

If she saw us watching she gave no indication. Just silently followed the Captain and ate without a word. She kept her eyes down turned and ate slowly clearly, to me at least, trying to keep herself from vomiting at the influx of food.

The room was silent. A murmuring started up. Questions of who she was, what she was doing, if she was old enough to bang, and the like arouse. The Captain made to stand. The hall fell silent once more.

"Her name is Rikka. She transferred from the Kings personal guard on his orders, not because of incapibility but, because of her cheery disposition. If anyone bothers her she'll probably cut you. Play nice," he up and left.

Immediately she is swarmed with people. Myself being one of them. Good Maria, she's so pretty. Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so.

She stood up abruptly and smacks a man's hand away from her, "Touch me again. You'll beg for death."

"I'd let a girl like you make me beg anytime Baby," he replies not noticing the promise of death that permeates the room.

I step in just barely stopping her hand before it connects with his throat.

"Rikka. I'm Eren. Remember me?" I smile at her, "He shouldn't bother you anymore. He was just leaving."

She mutters something I don't catch.

"Would you like to meet my friends?" I ask.

She nods. We leave the mess hall. Nobody stops us. Nobody follows.

 **Authors Note:**

 _It's been forever. This has been on the backburner for awhile since I'e had such awful writers block. I don't plan on leaving you guys anytime soon. I'm sorry if this is a crappy chapter but I need a filler to get back into the swing of things. I will try to update at least once a month. Hopefully more._

 _Lots of love_

 _~ If Something Changed_


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